Your First New Year's Eve!

Day 18:

You've had another BIG day, Conor. Your Cousin Patsy came to see you in the morning and while she was visiting we had some pretty intense conversations with your Doctors. We were talking about your Car Seat Challenge, getting your NG (gavage) tube out, and then finally; the circumcision conversation...

Now Conor, I'd had this conversation with a few of the Doctors on the floor and they all seemed to have more of an opinion on the matter than anything based in medicine... Still, let's just say it's a family tradition. I was pretty uncomfortable NOT having you circumcised but the other Doctors on the floor were making their case as to why it would be a needless procedure, that it's all cosmetic, and on and on and on... This decision actually kept me up 'til 2:00am this morning, Son... On the one hand I saw their points, all valid... On the other, well let's just say I felt a certain way about it. Finally Dr. Holdson, a MALE doctor, came into your room and began to examine you. Knowing you're likely to leave on Monday he brought up the topic and I'm thankful he did. After a brief examination and a few questions about "family history", he said "if it were my baby, I'd circumcise him." That's all I needed. Done! 15 minutes later Dr. Elliot was in the room to perform the procedure and BOOM! finished. And being the Lion Hearted little man you are, there was no fuss at all. My Conor An Chroí Lion -Conor the Circumcised! (Sorry Son. Couldn't help it!)

For some people this isn't even a decision... You're either for it, or against it... No middle of the road. So far be it from me to stand in the middle of the road, Son. Welcome to the world of more aesthetically pleasing member. Hallelujah!

In just a few minutes we're going to bid farewell to a year that, like most years, has had it's ups and downs... Though you're most certainly one of the "ups", my Son. And you know, your Mom and me have done some pretty big things on New Years Eve pasts. We've been in Washington DC, Las Vegas, the Bahamas, Amsterdam... But this year New Years eve would be spent in the NICU at Virginia Hospital Center... And to tell you the truth, its the best New Years eve I've spent in my 38 years.

2012 holds such promise Conor. Just watching you grow will make the year that much better. And in another 36 hours you'll be coming home. Starting the new year right. Can't wait.

Happy New Year, Conor. May this, and every year for the next 100, be better than the last.

I love you so much.
-Dad

The Lion Heart Returns!

Day 17:

Seems all you needed was a little rest, Boy'O. You're back and better than ever, Conor! In fact you've been so hungry the nurses are simply giving you extra in your bottle feedings! You're up to 40 milliliters on the bottle and breast feeding like a champ, Son. They put you back in an open crib too! You're almost there!

Everybody who's worked with you says they can hardly believe you're the same two week old boy... That you've grown so much it's remarkable. The Doctors and Nurses are always commenting on how your cheeks are filling out and your Strawberry hair is growing in. Others have noticed how much you look like Mommy, and let's be honest, that's not such a bad thing! She's a bit easier on the eyes than I am...

And here's the best part - We're told you're coming home on Monday! (Tuesday latest - but likely Monday). Happy Day, Son!! No more driving to and fro, leaving you behind, no more poking and prodding and best of all, NO MORE WIRES!!! These days you're so wired up, I'd swear you were the A-Route Server to the Internet! All necessary of course, but still, it's a bit much.

Short post tonight. Mommy and I are tired and in need of a good night's rest. Tomorrow's New Years Eve and we're ringing it in with you, son! Count down with Conor the Lion Heart! My Conor An Chroí Lion. Winning the battles. Winning the War. And each victory only cements your legacy of King of the NICU son. Nobody here would argue that.

I love you, Conor. Goodnight.
-Dad

Closing the Gap

Day 16:

It is said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. This I can confirm, Conor. I can't stand not being near you. I'm sure this is a feeling which will eventually level out, but now, while you're in this place, the NICU at Virginia Hospital Center, it's grueling. I've never been averse to work. Never truly enjoyed it, either, but I'm good at what I do and so I have my moments... Still, even today while I flourish; while I'm deep in the art of the deal and making business happen, you're right there at the forefront of every thought.

Technology certainly makes it a bit easier I'll say. These days we have digital images and video chat and multi-media sites accessible via the web... Though of course, it's not the same. Not the same as seeing you, holding you, hearing your coos and cries. But it does help.

I still see you every day, though my time is spent mostly in the evenings and so I feel apart from you. Merely driving to the hospital heightens my mood leaps and bounds! Mommy's been helping me get by during the day with the occasional 'FaceTime' session via our Apple SmartPhones... Interestingly enough as I sit here typing this I think to myself, "what will Conor be using as a media tool in 18 years?"... Honestly, I can't even imagine. It's likely technology I've not even dreamed of.

You were born into what I believe to be the Age of Aquarius, Conor; better known as the scientific age. Despite this not being a precise science I have done some reading on the subject and, considering the leaps and bounds in technology over the last two to three decades, I can't help but think this is the case. It's amazing really; How absolutely limitless our imaginations can become through the makings of man. That's something I wish for you always... To never let go of your imagination.

Enough of my waxing poetic on philosophy and belief, let's get down to brass tacks, Boy. You're weighing in at a whopping 4 lbs, 4 oz today! Everybody is noticing how your face is filling out, your little belly is growing (a chip off the old block!), and how much you're really starting to come into your own... Taking on a personality the likes of which I've never dreamed. Your strength, will, and determination is so evident. Conor the Lion Heart. Conor An Chroí Lion. Whenever we think you've had enough, you're back for more. More food, bigger stretches, alert and aware... And still, no real fuss. Passed your hearing test today, too! Now I know you'll be able to listen to the music, Son.

That's all for tonight, Buddy. Can't wait until tomorrow.

I love you.
-Dad

Take it Easy, People! I'm only Two Weeks Old!!

Day 15:

You had a very busy day today, Conor! You were seen by four Doctor's, three Nurses, one Nurse Practitioner, and an Occupational Therapist. And on top of that you were inoculated for Hepatitis B, too! Lots and lots of poking and prodding, moving and jostling... It's just to much! Your night nurse, Sarah, said your day nurse, Suhir, had to feed you through the gavage tube again because you were so worn out you couldn't even eat! Nobody blames you though, Conor. We all know how hard you're trying. How much you're working. Even the Lion-Heart needs a rest now and again, Son... Rest up Lion-Heart.
A fháil ar roinnt eile Conor An Chroí Lion...

The reason for all the fuss is a small bump on your neck, Son. It appears you have a small hematoma in your sternocleidomastoid muscle along the right band of the neck. Apparently this is not a common occurrence, but it's not so uncommon they don't know what it is or what causes it. It would seem babies who are breech and thus born via cesarian have been documented as having encountered this 'injury', though again it's not common. Never the less, thus far we've had an Ultrasound Technician up to have a look, Mommy's OBGYN- Dr. Lashgari and her Associate, Dr. Elliott, the NICU Doctor on duty- Dr. Runkle, Nurse Practitioner- Terry, and an Ear Nose & Throat Doctor who, with all the commotion, Mommy couldn't even remember his name! Regardless, they all seem to be in agreement. Hematoma in the muscle that should eventually dissipate. Nothing to worry about! Or so we're told...

Anyhow, you're a very, very tired baby today. SO much so the Nurses and Mommy have decided to let you sleep it off and go back to gavage feeding - for now. Because tomorrow starts the great adventure, Son. It's back to bottle or breast eight times a day... And I know you can do it!

I love you, Boy.
-Dad

...Not Yet Begun to Fight!

Day 14:

Today was one of those days, Conor. A cold and rainy day, banging around in traffic and commuting to the office while you sit warm and snug, swaddled in your isolette. I missed you, buddy. Still, the news was all pretty good! It seems you're eating far better from the bottle to supplement your twice daily routine of nursing with Mommy, and the Doctors and Nurses in the Virginia Hospital Center NICU haven't had to *Gavage feed you since yesterday morning! This is great news because feeding on your own puts you one step closer to home! And we're told, if you can eat from bottle or breast eight times a day, but do it consistently day after day, you'll satisfy the Doctor's feeding requirement. Which means only one step to go- Temperature!

It seems the Nurses got just a smidge aggressive with the whole "Managing Body Temperature" thing though, because when I finally did get to see you they had you in an open crib!! Mommy and I were pretty surprised... We thought you'd be in your isolette at least another couple days! But no matter. After a hearty feeding with Mommy (25 minutes, besting yesterday's effort!) and being topped off with another 15 milliliters of a vitamin packed bottle feeding, your temperature fell below 98 degrees fahrenheit... The result being, they brought back the isolette where they can keep you warm without your having to work for it. It seems keeping warm can burn a lot of energy in a guy your size, so keeping you warm will not only help you to build energy stores, but also works to conserve your energy for when it's time to eat; a result Mommy and I are most interested in! The more you eat, the fatter you get! (Trust me, Son, this isn't always something to be proud of so pack it on now...)

Regardless, you were THAT CLOSE Conor! The Doctors and Nurses thought enough of your progress to at least try!! And I know in a few days, my little Lion-Heart, Conor An Chroí Lion, will be ready to face down the final NICU challenge and come home. You keep fighting, Buddy. I'll be there with you all the way. Always...

G'night, Son. I love you.
-Dad


*Gavage feeding in the NICU is where a small, narrow tube is inserted through the infant's nostril and is placed down the throat, esophagus, and into the baby's stomach. This allows for the baby to be fed if it cannot get the nutrition it needs from breastmilk or formula alone (via breastfeeding or bottle feeding).

He's a Growing Boy!

Day 13:

Today has been a good day for Conor the Lion-Heart! Starting with your 9:30am feeding you came out of your isolette ready to go... You were hungry and wasted no time going to breast, Son. For 20 minutes! Easily your longest to date... And then you had your bottle, too!! 28 milliliters by bottle ON TOP of your already full belly from nursing with Mommy... Everybody was so impressed! We all see how hard you're working, Son. And I'm so proud of you. My Conor An Chroí Lion. Yet another milestone, you made 4 lbs! That much closer to home, Son.

Funny enough though, I paid dearly for your hearty appetite! While changing your diaper this evening around 7:00pm I experienced my first "poo-tastrophy"! It seems you needed to make some room for all that good food you've been putting away, which ordinarily would be fine, except you waited until the moment I took your diaper off to unleash the fury... You literally blasted the inside of your isolette, and Mommy had the birds eye view of the disaster! She laughed so hard she had to leave the room! And in so doing left me holding your legs in the air, poo everywhere - disaster. Thankfully Mommy came back into the room with a nurse to rescue me and we got you cleaned up, but wow! What an adventure!

Otherwise, Christmas has come and gone and so has the need to listen to Christmas music; a novelty to be sure but one that I tire of quickly... So the night has been full of Daddy's favorites. Johnny Cash, Neil Young, Waylon Jennings, Jimi Hendrix... And easy conversation with your nurses. The nurses here just love you, Conor. They love to work with you, talk about you, play with you... You're in such good hands, Son. And though it's so hard to leave you here night after night and head home, I know how good they are, and so I rest easy. Mommy too.

And with that, I'll bid you goodnight, Boy. But I'll see you tomorrow.

I love you.
-Dad

The Greatest Gift

Day 12:

Merry Christmas, Conor!
There's an old saying; "It is better to give than it is to receive." Ordinarily I subscribe to that sentiment. I love nothing more than to make others smile; be it through humor and wit, a kind word, material gifts; I'm wired to 'give' and happy to do it... But this year, this Christmas, there is no amount of giving to out-do the gift you've given me - You. This year it is better to receive, Conor.

Your very presence is a constant reminder of how lucky I am - which conversely is a sentiment I've NOT always subscribed to. "Luck". But welcoming you to the world, knowing you, watching you grow in even less than two weeks, I've felt the fates smiling on me, Conor. Smiling on us. Smiling on all of us. And watching you, how hard you're fighting and how strong you are; how strong your heart is... My little Lion-Heart. Conor An Chroí Lion...

In my 38 years I've not experienced Christmas to mean as much as it does this year, Conor. I'm doubly reminded of my Christian roots and find myself praying more than I ever have... And not that I ever lost touch with God, but the moment you opened your eyes I became sure my faith in God was evidence to the contrary of any doubting thought I've ever held. As well, I've experienced 'Love' on an other plane. My soul simply continues to expand and every single thing I felt I knew seems diminished. I realize there's so much more to learn. "The older I get, the less I know." A simple adage I've come to agree with, especially of late... And unfortunately it takes a great many experiences and lessons to understand this adage as simply being truth. It's an odd thing, Conor, but "the greatest wisdom is to realize one's lack of it." --Konstantin Stanislavisky

Thank you for the greatest gift this Christmas, Conor - You.

Merry Christmas, Son. I love you always.
-Dad

It's Grow Time...

Day 11:

You're doing it Conor! You're on the path home, Son. It seems the only thing holding you back is your weight, which subsequently assists you in regulating your body temp. If we get all those things working in concert, we're bustin' you out, Buddy!

Today is Saturday, December 24th, 2011 - Christmas Eve. The greatest blessing of the season is of course welcoming you to the World, and so this Christmas is very, very special... But there are so many others, Conor. There are so many to consider and to hope for... To pray for. And while your fighting so hard to grow, and while your Mom and me are traveling back and forth to see you in the hospital, you won't hear a complaint from us... Not from this family. Because we recognize true sacrifice, Conor. We know there are Mommy's and Daddy's out there who are spending Christmas away from their children and their loved ones. And they do that for you, Conor. For you, me, Mommy... all of us. So to them, we say "God Bless and God Speed... And thank you for your service. Thank you for keeping us safe. Thank you for sacrificing time away from your families to protect mine."

Whether you serve your country or not, Conor, I want you to always recognize that volunteer service to this country is to be commended, appreciated, and applauded. It's those people who make the greatest sacrifice and they're deserving of our praise. Never forget that. And to those of you who may read this - thank you. Thank you for providing us with liberty and freedom. And God bless...

You're chugging along, Son. Taking each calorie and each lesson from Daddy like the Lion Heart you are. Conor An Chroí Lion.

This Christmas, you're the greatest gift of all. I'm so thankful to be your Dad, Conor. And Mommy is is so, so proud of you also... Theres just not much more to say...

Merry Christmas, Conor. I love you...
-Dad

and They Came in Two by Two...

Day 10:

It's been a busy day for you today, Conor. Starting early this morning so many visitors came to see you! First it was our old friends, Josh and Melissa. Then it was Paul and Jennifer. Later in the day it was Grandma M.E. and Grandpa K9, and with them was my Mom, who you'll some day call Mom-Mom. They came to see you because they love you, Conor. They want to see you and to cheer you on, Son. Conor the Lion Heart... Conor An Chroí Lion.

When Uncle Paul and Aunt Jennifer came to see you they brought a camera, some blankets, and an imaginative spirit. You see, Mommy found a really great hat on Etsy.com to help you celebrate the Christmas holiday, and Aunt Jennifer and your Mom conspired to turn you into a baby model; complete with a staged crib, blankets, and even artificial lighting! Then things took a scandalous turn... They stripped you NAKED! Nine days in the world and already you're doing a "Playbaby" shoot.... Oh the humanity!!

Actually, Daddy's being silly. The pictures turned out beautifully. You're quite the photogenic little man, Conor! Surely a trait you get from your Mom. Daddy's got a face for radio, Son. Though one picture after the other I looked on marveling at just how amazing you are.

You've got a lot of people behind you, Conor. Family, Friends, Doctors, Nurses, Specialists... Several times a day I speak with a number of different nurses here at the Virginia Hospital Center... And not just the nurses who are charged with your care- No, no. Any nurse who has worked with you genuinely enjoys you. You're a quiet baby, yet feisty and spirited. You're a small baby yet ready to move and always hungry. And you're so handsome, Conor. They just love you. And they all know how strong you are and how hard you're fighting. And all your visitors, too. Friends and Family and Nurses and... Well, you get the picture. I'm just being redundant now. But they are cheering you on, Son... Conor the Lion Heart. Conor An Chroí Lion.

I love you, Son.
-Dad

The Lion Heart, Exceeding Expectations

Day 9:

You've had a big day today, Son. Mommy and me learned that you'd be meeting Chris Wallin, Virginia Hospital Center's Developmental Specialist, at 11:30 this morning and it was everything I could do to sit in my office chair past 9:00am. I couldn't wait to meet her and hear what she had to say about you, Conor. And I wasn't disappointed. When I arrived Mommy was already speaking with Mrs. Chris and she was pouring on about how impressed she was at your muscle development, your ability to take both bottle and breast, and even your social skills! In fact, just as I'd walked in and began looking over you, you cracked a smile! My heart skipped a beat, Buddy. The moment you heard my voice you began looking around and when you saw me, you smiled. And she saw that!

Anyhow, I cannot confirm nor deny that Mrs. Chris may or may not have said she needed to look in on you today because she was out on vacation next week and there's a good chance you wouldn't be here when she returned... 'Allegedly' there's a chance you could be coming home by the end of next week! A "32 weeker", as they refer to you. Ahead of the game. Mrs. Chris and the other nurses, including the Lactation Consultant, marvel at the fact that you're feeding from the breast twice a day, maintaining body temperature, self soothing (you do a lot with your hands up around your face to maintain your moods), and that you only fuss when you're being jostled about.

Mommy fed you this evening and then 'kangaroo'd' you for about an hour... Then it was my turn. You amazed me still, Conor. Conor An Chroí Lion... As you lay sleeping on my bare chest your little arms reached up and I felt a hand grab my scruffy old beard. You then pulled yourself up and turned your head from one side to the next - face down. I looked at Mommy and she was sitting there watching the whole thing, mouth agape...

I realize every parent is proud of every burp, blink, or fart their child produces, and to be sure it's difficult to be objective - I was warned of this 'proud parent syndrome', believe me... But my belief in your Lion-Hearted determination is justified each time I hear a NICU nurse, Doctor, or Specialist marvel at how far you've come in such a short amount of time; especially for a "white male 32 weeker"...

You keep working hard, Son... I know you can do it. I'm so proud of you already and I know you'll make me so very proud again and again and again.

I love you, Conor.
-Dad

You Make it All Better, Conor

Day 8:

As you'll unfortunately find out, Conor, this life has its ups and downs. Most days are good! If there are 365 days in a year, maybe 5 or 6 of them are ever 'bad'. But when you have a bad day, it just always seems to go all the way bad... Of course, that outlook could be mine and mine alone, though I somehow doubt it. Anyhow, it was just a lousy day.

I didn't have a great day at work and am generally just frustrated with my job these last few weeks, I had errands to run and was completely swallowed up by holiday traffic, I went to the mall (I am NOT a fan of the mall, Conor) to pick up a few things for Christmas and, aside from quickly getting what I was there for in the first place decided to shop for you. Well, let me tell you, I'm thinking of starting a suit of some kind, Son. I went into five different childrens' stores looking for premie clothes and NOBODY had anything! Are you kidding me? I can't buy clothes for my sweet boy?! I was 'hrrrrrrumphing' all over Fair Oaks Mall, Conor. Feeling more like old Ebenezer than old St Nick...

So I left the mall and had to run yet another errand. Even more traffic, and more of NOT getting what I need. This time I needed a Santa hat and so I went to Kohls to seek it out. Surely they would have a Santa hat! Alas no. No Santa hat... How can I celebrate my Son's first Christmas without a Santa hat?! It was just one thing after another, Conor...

I finally got home and took a shower to relax a bit. Then I had dinner with Mommy, Grandma M.E. and Grandpa K9, and that wasn't bad, but I was still in a mood... Well, when the time came to finally get moving toward the NICU, I couldn't leave the house fast enough! When Mommy and me finally got to the hospital I was chuggin'. I knew I'd see you in a few short minutes! We entered the NICU and I dropped everything, took one look at your precious face, and felt every ounce of anxiety and angst just wash away. You healed me, Son. And in your seven days on this Earth, that's the second time you've done that.

My brave little Conor. Conor the Lion Heart. Conor An Chroí Lion.

Love you, Son.
-Dad

Conor and the Christmas Jazz...

Day 7:

It's really hard being away from you all day, Son. I'm so incredibly jealous of your Mom, you can't imagine... Each day I wake up and head into work while she's waking up and coming to feed you! And actually, Mom gave you your first bath today!! I so wished I could have been here with you. I know it sounds silly, especially given how many baths I'll be giving you, but that's just one of those 'firsts' that I would have loved. Anyhow, I thought about you all day. Each person who would come by my office would say "how's your son, Shane?" or "how's Conor?" and I would light up like a Christmas tree and start showing them pictures! It's shameless really...

Speaking of Christmas Trees; your Mom and me bought you a Christmas tree for your NICU room! It's perfect, Conor. A Charlie Brown Christmas Tree. Little, but strong. So, so strong. Strong like you. "Conor An Chroí Lion". Literally translated from Gaelic, "Conor the Lion Heart".

You'll come to learn your Dad's a bit of a music nut, Conor. I believe everything is better with music. And I believe a life can be set to music. And I believe music is all around us, Son; all you have to do is listen. So of course I'm going to play music for you as often as I can and the NICU is no exception! A few days ago I brought an Altec Lansing iPhone dock to your room and have been playing anything from Beethoven, Bach, and Yo-Yo Ma, to Michael Buble and Frank Sinatra. Tonight I pulled up 'Pandora', and started playing the Vince Guaraldi Trio's "A Charlie Brown Christmas". It was my favorite when I was a kid and remains so to this day. I love jazz, Conor, but holiday jazz? Well, holiday jazz is, above all else, how Christmas should be celebrated if you ask me. Sure, I like the classics too, don't get me wrong... but toe-tapping jazz covers of old Christmas tunes is just so... warm. Now, add you to that mix? Mommy and you kangaroo'd, the Charlie Brown Christmas tree... Man oh man, what a night.

You're the greatest gift I've ever received, Conor. And this Christmas is one I'll never, ever forget. And though I'm sure each Christmas will only get better as you grow, this Christmas will be the most special Christmas of all. Because you're here. Because God brought you to us. To all of us. And we all love you, and we all thank God for you.

I love you, Conor. Conor An Chroí Lion.
-Dad

I've missed you!

Day 6:

Today was the first day Mom and me weren't able to simply wake up and walk down stairs to see you in your NICU room... And while it was nice to get a couple hours of sleep in our own bed, for me it was a restless sleep because you felt so far away. This morning I woke up and went to work, business as usual, and quite honestly it felt like the longest day I've ever spent in the office. All I wanted was to see you. I didn't even want to talk about you and how proud I am of all the hard work you're doing to come home... I just wanted to see your sweet face and tell you everything will be okay.

Grandma M.E. drove Mommy to the hospital to help with your 9:30am feeding and Aunt Jen came to see you also... I was so jealous! But I had all day to look forward to the evening and spending time with my boy. In fact, this entry is being written not one foot away from where you're lying! There's no place I'd rather be than with you. You're my hero, Son. You've worked so hard to get off your IV, Conor. One more major milestone! And with all you're eating these days, we'll get you fattened up and home in no time! Conor the Lion-Heart. Determination unmatched.

Everybody you meet thinks you're such a handsome young boy, Conor. Your Mom and me will wonder, "Are they just saying that?" Because we KNOW how handsome you are... But I don't think so. I think when given the choice, proper people will either say something nice or they'll say nothing at all... And everybody you meet talks about what a handsome boy you are. And I don't need another single reason to be proud of you, Conor. But I'll admit when I hear it, especially as often as I hear it, I beam.

I love you, handsome boy.
-Dad

What a Wonderful World

Day 5:

You are an impressive little man, Conor. 5 days from the womb and almost 8 weeks early and already so many of the challenges we knew you'd face you've knocked down with ease and ahead of schedule. Already you've managed your once low blood-sugars, been taken off UV's and beaten back the dreaded bilirubin that causes jaundice, and we've seen your once minuscule appetite increase literally 10 fold! You went from only a couple ML's of Mother's Milk two short days ago, to 25 ML's today! No small feat for such a small guy! But we all know, you won't be that small for long...

You've impressed the nurses, the nurse practitioners, your friends, your Grandparents, your Mom and me... but most importantly, you've impressed your Doctors! So much so they've written the order to remove your IV fluids DAYS ahead of schedule! You get your IV out tonight, Conor!! Conor the Lion-Heart... We'll have you home soon, Son...

Your Mom was discharged from the Hospital today and so we went home for a bit to gather ourselves, devise a plan, and have dinner with your Grandma M.E. and Grandpa K9... Still, we wanted to be back for your night feedings - one at 9:30pm and one at 12:45am. On the way back to the hospital I was searching for Christmas music to enjoy- Maybe some of the classics, or better yet, some jazz... And why wouldn't I? You are far and away the greatest Christmas gift I've ever received and well, I just felt like celebrating! Anyway, I found Frank Sinatra radio; a special Christmas edition, and turned it on. Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World", had just begun. You know, Conor, I've heard this song maybe 100 times in my 38 years, but I never 'listened' to it. Suddenly Louis' lyrics were echoing in my head...
"I hear babies cry, I watch them grow. They'll learn much more than I'll ever know. And I think to myself, What a Wonderful World."

Indeed it is, Conor. It truly is a Wonderful World. I've always done okay making my way through this life though I always felt I lacked a specific direction. In fact, I've loved compasses for that very reason. Direction. Though since you've been in my world it's become an infinitely more wonderful place, and I feel a sense of focus I've never known. You give me that, Conor. You are my compass. Now and always.

I love you.
-Dad

I'm Hungry!

Day 4:

I can see you growing stronger with every breath, Dear Conor. The UV lights have helped you so much and what little jaundice you had is dissipating in front of my eyes. Your veins are rich and full of blood, though still fragile, and so sudden movement disrupts your IV, so the Doctor's thought it best to move it from your arms or legs to your head... It's an odd thing - to see an IV in my Son's head. Caught me by surprise a bit... But the nurses explained it's not uncommon and that in fact you've responded well to this placement. Playfully they call it your "party hat", as the IV is taped in a manner the likes of a white triangle hat on top of your head.

Most impressively you've begun to eat - a LOT. Looks like your as determined to get that blasted IV out of your head as we are. Every other feeding sees an increase in volume from the bottle, and a decrease of fluids from the IV. Within a few days you'll be free of it and with any luck, you'll be eating from Mommy's breast! Gotta fatten you up, buddy.

We met our NICU neighbor today. Her name is Beth and she's a patent lawyer from Balston, VA. Beth had twins some 3 weeks ago. She was only pregnant with Little Jack and Olivia for 28 weeks. They're so little, Conor. You look like a very big boy in comparison. We'll certainly be saying our prayers for Little Jack and Olivia, their Mom, and of course you... My big boy.

I love you, buddy.
-Dad

What's in a Name? -A Message from Mother

While Daddy and I didn’t find out if you were a boy or a girl until the moment we welcomed you into this world, we'd started to talk about children's names very early on; like before we were married “early”! We'd come to love the name "Liam" and having families with Irish roots we thought it was befitting. When I became pregnant having to choose a name became a reality and we settled pretty quickly on your middle name being "Daniel", in remembrance of my father, Daniel Dougherty, who died serving his country when I was only 3 years old.

You were conceived in Ireland in mid-spring, and one of the greatest views and experiences of our trip was a drive through The Conor Pass on the road from Doonbeg to the Town of Dingle. The Conor Pass is the highest mountain pass in Ireland. It's situated on the Dingle Peninsula in County Kerry. The pass road runs some 4 1/2 miles rising to 1500 feet as it winds its way through the Kerry Mountains. There are wonderful views of the coast from the top, and when we looked back from where we’d come, there was an amazingly expansive view of emerald green Ireland; cliffs, a waterfall and lakes stretched to the horizon. At the top of the Pass there is a car park where travelers can take in the magnificent view. From this point the road begins to wind down to the beautiful town of Dingle. And actually, one of the funniest memories of the trip happened as we approached Conor Pass – for which we had not sought out to traverse! I spotted a huge orange road sign saying "ACHTUNG!" and then a bunch of other warnings I assumed were written in Gaelic. From the back of the van I asked Daddy, Uncle Paul, Aunt Jen and little Nate “Hey- did you all see that sign??”…No response! Nothing... Crickets.

We were well engaged up the mountain pass before it became blatantly obvious that this road was serious business – a steep incline, single car pass, and nowhere to pull over if you got into a game of chicken with someone coming down from the other direction! I hope young Nathan doesn’t remember the pass, because there were quite a few expletives used to described both our fear and our aww of the view on that car ride!

So one day a few months ago, Daddy told me he really liked the name "Conor", and had looked up it’s Gaelic meaning – "Lover of hounds". Daddy and I loved the Gaelic spelling, which of course matched that of Conor Pass, and we settled then and there on your name.

Your name stems from Irish roots, conceived in Ireland, and will always remind Daddy and I (and Aunt Jen and Uncle Paul, too) of our great adventure over the Conor Pass. And you've already got two dogs at home who are so excited to meet you! And you will undoubtedly love them... Conor Daniel Yerkes, you have a very special name which befits just how miraculous you are, in every way.

Always remember Conor – Mommy loves you. Always.

Conor the Lion-Heart

Day 3

After a late night and little sleep; sleep which I felt like I really didn't even need, your Mom and I came into the NICU to find a note from your night nurse, Jen. The note explained that your bilirubin was coming down, that you'd taken two more feedings with very little residual food not digested, and that you were all set to come off your nasal cannula. It's been explained to us that these are all indicators of great progress for a male caucasian born 8 weeks premature... And yes, it's also been explained that both sex and race dictate vastly different paths for premature babies - truths neither of us were privy of before now! In fact, it seems a black female born under the same circumstances would more likely have been delivered with fully functioning lungs and a hearty appetite! The physiological marvel of life is full of mysteries! And I feel as though I'm unlocking those secrets one at a time - even if those secrets have been known to so many others for centuries.

I'm so proud of you, Son. Your fighting spirit has seen you achieve the smallest feats and the most significant accomplishments in less than 72 short hours. I think of you as having the heart of a lion; fearless and strong. "Conor the Lion-Heart". And in fact, since the first time I heard your heartbeat on a fetal doppler, I've always found solace in the strength of it.

You'll keep working hard and your Mother and I will continue to be tireless in our pursuit to bring you home. And I know your strong heart will inspire me to never, ever give up on facing down the next challenger. Together, we can beat them all.

I love you, Boy.
Dad

On the Path...

Day 2:

Today's been a series of learning experiences, high emotions, and exhaustive work. From, bilirubin, jaundice, and UV lights to feeding tubes, liver function, and miconium, to lactation consultants, breast pumps, and CC's, our journey with you has been a thrill a minute.

You're so strong, Conor, and so we're going to be strong for you. You've showed indomitable fight and you've inspired me, and you've made me so, so proud. With little fuss you're taking the pokes and prods, wires and tubes, lights and wraps; all of it, like the little Lion-Heart you are.

You continue to surprise me, Conor. I know you're going to be okay. I know you're going to be strong. I know you're going to show me a world I've not known and teach me about life. And I'm going to show you all I can to light your way. As you get stronger, so will I. And so will your Mom.

I love you, Son.
-Dad

A Day of Days...

On this morning - December 14, 2011, at 7:45am - your Mother and I welcomed you to this world in a most unexpected manner, Dear Conor.

Mommy awoke at 4:00am with some mild cramping but we thought it might pass. In fact, I went back to sleep! A short while later Mommy woke me again saying this time the cramping was getting worse! She called her Doctor and the Doctor on call thought it a good idea to see Mommy right away, so we packed up our things and went to the hospital.

This is the exact timeline...
4:00am - Mommy has cramping
5:00am - Mommy called the Doctor
5:30am - Mommy and Daddy were rolling to the hospital
6:00am - Mommy and Daddy were checked in to a hospital room in the Labor and Delivery ward at Arlington Hospital
7:00am - The Doctor's decided to air on the side of caution and intervene with Mommy's pregnancy for the sake of your well being.
7:30am - Mommy was prepped and ready to have a baby... YOU!
7:45am - The delivering Doctor, Dr Born, called - "Baby Out! 7:45am"

But we didn't know if you were a boy or a girl? And we didn't want to know until you were born! We wanted to be surprised! And so after the Doctor called "Baby Out! 7:45am", a minute passed by until I finally yelled out "Boy or Girl?!" and heard a resounding "BOY!" Mommy's eyes lit up with surprise and I could only smile with joy...

When I touched your skin with my hands I felt a connection run through me unlike anything I've ever known. I've never been so proud, and I've never seen anything so beautiful, in all my days. And when you cried, my heart broke, and then it soared. Because it was the sweetest sound I've ever heard. And when you opened your eyes, I saw God.

We have many great adventures ahead of us, Conor. And you have a supporting cast the likes of which cannot be broken. Not by anybody. Individually and collectively there are so many who love you. And you'll know this throughout your life. But more than anything, your Mom and I will forever be here for you.

Welcome to the world, My Son. I love you.

-Daddy