Go Big or Go Home

Day 138:

Well Conor, today was one of those days when you realize youth and invincibility has passed you by and  age and experience should be taken further into account.  Though, it's that awkward stage, like an infant learning to crawl and still trying to pull himself up to walk.  It seems possible and yet logic and reason still won't allow it based on how far you still have to go before you can achieve that final goal of biped mobility.  Same thing exists when you're a 39 year old man hanging on to your youth, still unafraid to "go big", knowing it's not the best idea you've ever had, and instead waking up feeling as though you just went 12 rounds with a boxing kangaroo.

The start of the day was not my best, Boy'O.  Hazy, foggy, feeling limp muscled from 2 hours in the hot-tub only 6 hours prior.  Your Mother, on the hand, awoke refreshed and spry having gone down at 10:00pm.   Me, Uncle Jeff and Aunt Traci though - yeah, not so much.  Copious bottles of wine as well as rifling through all the beer in the fridge and still looking for more at 2:00am tells me that, despite it being some kind of a vacation, I need to find the "off" switch.  And yet, I don't know that I ever will...

I'd love to blame you, Conor.  You're such an easy baby enabling me to still act as though I'm 21 years old while feeling closer to 60.   When the haze subsided we got the whole crew out for a tour of Healdsburg, some more good wine, and a nice dinner at a local bar and grill...  And predictably, you were not only easy like Sunday morning, but a total hit, Son.  Between you and Brady everybody in the bar wanted a piece of you guys, including a few 2 to 3 year old maidens enthralled with the idea of a new baby buddy.  A good day was had by all, some new friends were made, and on we went to pack for the long journey home.  Tomorrow it's back to the DC area, and Uncle Jeff, Aunt Traci, and Brady-Boy are headed back to Hawaii...  But we'll se them soon, of that I can promise you.

I love you, Son.  Thanks for being such a great little traveller.
-Dad

California Sunshine

Day 137:

What a wonderful and fun day, Conor.  You spent the day with your MomMom while me and Mommy and our good friends spent the day enjoying the Northern California sunshine and the fine wines the area produces.  It was truly a lovely day, though it came to a crashing end when the day in the wineries ended and a trip to the house would reveal perfectly behaved children with utterly hammered parents.

I'm not proud of it, Son.  Though it is what it is.  Wine + Sunshine = ?!>!?<>":{?!<!!!

Now I sit with Ms Traci and Mr Jeff listening to Pink Floyd's "The Wall" contemplating an evening in the hot tub while Mommy sleeps off the rough day for a brighter tomorrow.  These posts are, not surprisingly, a bit shorter than what's been my norm, but this is also the first time I've been on vacation since you've been born and not only that but WITH you!  Game changer, Boy'O.  In so many ways...

That's all for tonight, Boy'O.  And tomorrow is another lovely day, and of course with you.

I love you,
Dad

Conor the Lion Heart Goes Big Sky California

Day 136:

Well Son, today was as good a day as any I've had in terms of wine, friends, and weather.  NorCal this time of year is as good as it gets.   While your MomMom stated behind to take care of you and little Mr Brady, me and Mommy, our friends Traci and Jeff, and a number of their friends, 14 in all, went touring wineries...  What a great time!

It was  a bit stressful in that all anybody could think of was how you and MomMom were doing with your little cousin Brady-Boy, but in the end MomMom's raised three kids of her own as well as our 2 cousins, and she's nothing if not capable.   Anyhow, great time today and when we got home you were as good as gold... Such a sweet boy.

That's all for today, Conor.  Not much else to say other than, great time - great vacation. And you're here with us and that makes it all okay...

I love you, Boy'O.
-Dad

The Lion Heart Goes Airborne

Day 135:

Short post tonight, Son.  Long day of travel.  You were a perfect Angel in every way, not that I had any notion that you would be anything less.  Unfortunately, I'd just written your blog post and somehow deleted it, and considering I got things to do, this will HAVE to do.

An angel on the plane, adored by the masses, and thanked by your parents...  Piece of cake.  Let's hope it holds!

I love you, Conor the Lion Heart...  Conor the Traveling boy...

-Dad

The Pick is In - We're going to the Superbowl!

Day 135:

Okay, okay... Maybe not the Superbowl, but a guy can dream!

As a typical Redskins fan, this is the time of year we get most excited, Conor.  In fact, in the last 21 years our Washington Redskins have won the off-season Superbowl maybe 15 times!  Though they haven't won much else, Son.  When the season starts it's typically a totally different story.   In fact, the Redskins have had almost as many quarterbacks in that time and only been to the playoffs 3 times...

Know how many quarterbacks the Green Bay Packers have had in that time?  2.  And they've actually won 2 REAL Superbowls in the last 20 years!  The Colts?  They've had one quarterback in 15 years and won a Superbowl themselves.  The Patriots?  They've had 1 quarterback in the last 11 years, won 3 Superbowls and competed in 5!

See the trend, Son?  Franchise quarterbacks, though rare, give your team the best chance at being competitive at the highest level season over season... Tonight our Washington Redskins took one giant step toward trying to achieve that very thing.  Tonight the Redskins, with the 2nd overall draft pick in the 2012 draft by way of a trade with the St Louis Rams, selected Robert Griffin III, or "RG3" as he's known now.  Heisman winner, hardcore competitor, and a seemingly great guy with his head screwed on tight.  The kind of character the Redskins haven't seen since Darrell Green - maybe the greatest Redskin of all.

I don't expect miracles, Conor.  But I would like to see your first full NFL season showcase a talented and competitive ball club.  The Washington Redskins went to the Superbowl (the REAL Superbowl) the year I was born, Boy'O.  Granted, they lost that game to who would become the only team to ever go undefeated in the Miami Dolphins of the '72 / '73 season, but at least they were there (and with a great quarterback in Billy Kilmer).  For more than 20 years the Redskins were one of the toughest football clubs in the NFL, and with the most loyal fans in all of football.  For the last 20, not so much.  But you know how it goes, right Boy?  Ebbs and Flows, Son.  Ebbs and Flows.  Perhaps it's about time the Redskins get their flow back.

In other news, in just a few short hours you'll be taking your 1st cross country flight, Son!  We're off to sunny California with Mommy and Mom-Mom to meet friends from Hawaii and maybe make some new friends... And we can't WAIT!

I love you, Son... and oh yeah,
HAIL TO THE REDSKINS!  HAIL VICTORY!  BRAVES ON THE WARPATH! FIGHT FOR OLE DC!!!!

-Dad

Mission Accomplished - Coming Home

Day 134:

Being away from home can be tough enough.  Being away from you is downright painful.  But if I'm able to capitalize on the opportunity to bring in some new business, well hey, baby needs a new pair of shoes! I had a bit more luck today than I did yesterday, Son.  Met with some great people but more importantly, the right people.  And when you're in business, it's all about meeting the right people...

When the conference ended and I headed back to my hotel room, I was able to knock out a ton of work and then get in a little time for "me".  I threw on the workout clothes and went running!  It's been a while and I've got a tricky knee, so it wasn't the easiest thing I've done.  Though it did afford me the chance to see some gators!  As seen in the picture above...  Of course, these were gators that were living in captivity so it was none to exciting, but I thought of you because, well, little boys love stuff like that, right? 

Otherwise, I'm excited to be coming home in the morning, Boy'O.  My flight leaves at 9:00am, meaning I have to be up and moving by 6:00am and on the road by 6:30am.  But to be sure those are timetables I won't miss...  Especially given what's at stake.

I love you, Son.

Dad

Lonely in Orlando

Day 133:

So I'm back in the road again, Son, and today was a bit of a bust.  I'm in Orlando to work a conference for Help Desk Technology and how organizations can best serve their customers... YAAAAAWN!!!!  Total snooze fest!  What's more?  The prospect I flew to Orlando to see, NO SHOWED!  This is a problem for him because I know where his company is exhibiting and I know what he looks like, and so tomorrow I intend to seek him out and let him know what I feel about being stood up when I could be at home with my Son...  But I digress...

So, Orlando is not all bad...  It was a cloudless 73 degree day and, aside from making it to the convention center to get stood up, it's a nice area to visit...  In fact, surely you'll know soon enough because Grandpa K9 and MeMeow are absolutely hell bent to take you to Disney Land for YOUR first big trip!  That's to say, a trip FOR you...

Otherwise Son, I met some lovely people, both from here and abroad, shared a cocktail and a laugh, and bragged on you all night long.  Of all the pictures and videos Mommy sent me, I showed them off to all who would look, and they all agreed - you are a Lion Heart indeed... And a cute one at that.............

I love you Son,

Dad

Preparing for Takeoff

Day 132:

Mondays have a way of exhausting you without being any more burdensome than the other 6 days of the week, Son.  A Monday signifies the end of the weekend and the beginning of the work-week / school week; that is to say if your work-week is a Monday through Friday gig like me and Mommy's.  Never the less, they're rough enough as it is...  But when you add in a cold and rainy Spring day with gray clouds and blustery winds, all one can think about is pulling the covers up high over ones' head and sleeping 'til you've had your fill.  And yes Boy'O, today was one of those days...  Only, more than missing out on a few extra Z's and sleeping the day away - a totally irresponsible use of time, though one that sounds like a good idea if only for a moment - would be to do it without sharing the lazy day with you, Boy'O.

But more than the lousy weather and it being a Monday all on its own, I spent the day working on summarizing my thoughts, paperwork, travel documents, and company trinkets to give away...  Yes Bubba, I'm headed off to Florida tomorrow to attend a 3 day conference in Orlando; the conference center capital of the East coast...  Though to be fair it's been some time since I've been on the road / in the air and quite frankly, it is a part of my job.  I get paid to represent my company and sell its wares, so going on the road should even be more on the order of once a month and frankly, I've gotten away with not having to travel much at all in the last six months... But this will be the first time I've been away from you for any period of time, and to be sure I don't like it.  Not one bit...

While working diligently through the day it was always in the back of my mind; time away from home. Away from family.  And that includes more than just you and Mommy... That includes the dogs also.  Just not being able to be there to scoop you up and hold you close when you cry for that bottle, well, I never thought I'd say this, but it's a bit heartbreaking...  Then, I also consider this is only a few days for me and I think about the men and women of our armed forces living away from their families all over the World for up to a year at a time, and I'm thankful for their service and dedication to country.  And I'm also thankful in the knowing that I'll only be away from you for three days.

I'll miss you so much my Little Lion Heart.  But I'll be home soon and I promise to bring you something good!

I love you, Conor.
-Dad

The Laziest of Sundays

Day 131:

Today was a cold and rainy day Conor... It was a day that's good for nothing other than lounging around on the couch, watching playoff hockey, and having some fun with you...  And actually given everything else in the World, all the different things we could be doing, a day in our warm house was exactly what the Doctor ordered.  It was instead a wonderful time to just kick back and enjoy being with you, Boy'O.  For both Mommy and me...

Tragically however, Mommy somehow managed to get you into that Philadelphia Flyers onesie and so I had to look at it all day long... Though it wasn't so bad I guess...  Mommy being more a hockey fan than that of any other professional sport, it was the one concession (strictly pertaining to Professional sports teams) I was willing to make, and so I find myself supporting the cause despite my allegiance to both mine and your birth city, Washington DC...  Moreover, Mommy's Flyers not only won their game against the dreaded Pittsburg Penguins (a team neither of us can stand), but they closed out their series against the Pens and are advancing in the Stanley Cup Tournament.

Conversely, and despite a heroic effort to take their third game in the last six to over-time, my Washington Capitals fell to the defending Champions, the Boston Bruins.  And though our season is still alive with the Bruins having pressed the effort to a Game 7 at Boston Gardens in a few days, the Capitals were poised to knock out the champs and advance as well... Now we'll have to wait and see.  Though lemme tell you, Son.  Nothing would be as exciting as a Capitals vs. Flyers best of seven playoff series!  And though it may mean my temporary excommunication from pretty much everybody on Mommy's side of the family, I assure you we would watch with rapt attention and have a great time doing it...

Otherwise, it was a really slow and comfortable Sunday.  Just what the Doctor ordered... And tomorrow it's back to daycare, back to work, back to the grind...  But it's all made better coming home to you.

I love you, Son.
-Dad

A Day in the Sun

Day 130:

A very nice morning and afternoon is giving way to a rainy and stormy evening, Conor.  But not before thoroughly enjoying the nicer part of the day... I made plans with you to see our good friend OJ and his son Keegan for lunch, and so after an easy morning (you slept 8 hours last night, Boy'O, and then decided to take another 3 hour nap at 8:00am) of getting to the Saturday things that Monday through Friday won't allow, they showed up and off we went.

Little Keegan was also 7+ weeks early and so there was a lot to talk about with OJ.  And nothing of any concern in so far as Keegan's health or the like, but just in the sense of how he's growing, eating, etc.  Little Keegan is doing great; as are you!  I've no real concerns where your health is concerned, Conor.  My questions only come out in an effort to understand what to expect.

So, while sitting at Rio Grande enjoying fajitas and margaritas, Mommy and me interrogated OJ, and Keegan SHOWED us exactly what we should expect... As an adorably cute, albeit amazingly stubborn and active young 16 month old, a casual lunch just wasn't on the docket today!  Quite frankly it was funny...  To see OJ working so hard to keep Keegan both fed and happy while he wanted everything on the table that wasn't his certainly equalled the stigma that preemies, though little, are feisty and hard headed.

So now here I sit watching the Capitals take on the Bruins in game 5 of the Eastern Regional Finals of the NHL while you and Mommy are off on a nap.  It's the kind of Saturday I think we all needed.  A little work, a little lunch, a little down time...  And these days are more and more rare.

I love you, Conor.
-Dad

The Doc is No Fun

Day 129:

Well Conor, let's start with the good...  You're 23.6 inches long and weighing in at a whopping 11.6 lbs!  In fact, the one thing about you that's ahead of the curve is that noggin of yours...  As if we didn't see THAT coming!  Your head is in the 65th% of kids your age, while your body weight is at 1%.  Of course, your Mother and me having pretty big heads ourselves, it was inevitable for you, Boy'O.  And more than anything, it's what's inside that melon that counts.  Though it's no wonder you have such a hard  time holding that sucker up!

So that's the good news.  Growth rate good.  Health good.  Big ole' noodle... Alls well.  Then came the shots.

You were getting a number of vaccinations and boosters today, Conor, and your regular nurse, Kailynn, wasn't in today.  Instead you got another nurse who, according to Mommy, should not be in the profession of infant child care.  In administering the shots to your leg, on one of them she jabbed a vein and Mommy said blood came streaming out, all over you, all over her, down into your toes...  Just all over.  Not to mention the screaming that ensued.  Again, I wasn't there but your Mother said they could hear you in the movie theater across the street.  Just a blood curdling, agonizing holler of pain that she said made her want to take that nurse apart...

No parent likes to see their little one in pain and they want to see their child's blood even less... Just an overall tough day.

When she finally got you home and got both you and her changed, it was up to Mommy to get you to daycare then make it to Bethesda for a client meeting that she would undoubtedly be late for.  Though what's worse than having a care in the world about what's happening at work is dropping you off at daycare.  Especially given the circumstances of the morning...

At the end of the day though, you were back to your old smiling self, though with a slight fever if only for what you endured through the day.  And thankfully, all the excitement wore you out, Boy'O.  And so now you sleep...

I love you, Boy.
-Dad

Mommy's on the Mend

Day 128:

A funny story as to the start of your day, Son.  This morning while getting you into your car seat and preparing to head out for the day, I'd laid you carefully in your seat to a glow of smiles; which is not always the case when loading the car seat...  While buckling the harness system in the chair, the plastic clip which clicks together across the center of your chest was first on the list of attachments... While I adjusted the straps and slid the clips in place, you suddenly jerked your hands toward the direction of the clip and the very tip of one of your fingers got just barely pinched between the clicking vice.   If we ran this scenario again, 100 times out of 100 your little digits would come nowhere close to ending up in this clamp, though on this occasion, "CLICK!"  

I saw it happen but it was so quick and so brief that I had a full second to figure out if in fact you'd been caught... That is, a full second before your wide, bright blue eyes turned downward, your bottom lip puckered outward, and a shrill cry came emanating from your tiny lungs... I mean to tell you, it was as though you'd just been hit with a cattle prod!

The look on your face was absolutely heart tearing... Just such surprise and sadness, and then "WHAAAAAAAA!!!!"  Part of me wanted to stand there staring at you, heart broken at what I'd just witnessed and so touched by how absolutely adorable your little reaction was... The other part of me wanted to take the pain away and see you smiling again, so predictably I picked you back up and began to dance around the room with you, singing that same silly song I always sing.

Fortunately my plan worked!  In a minute you'd forgotten about the pain in your finger and were all to happy to hear a song and swing and dance.  I reckon you get that bit from your old-man, Boy'O.

Otherwise the news of the day was good... Mommy's fever broke and she was able to make it to the Doctor on her own accord this morning.  Turns out she has a sinus infection so it's nothing contagious...  Still a bummer that she's sick, bit at least she can't transfer anything on to you.  And of course her day was made when she knew that she could hold you again...

I suppose that about sums it up, Son.  Another Thursday in the books.  I foresee a good night's rest in my future.  Provided there's one in yours...

Love you, Lion Heart...
-Dad

One Man Show

Day 127:

Total drag today, Son.  Though for Mommy, not me...  Seems your mother came down with something and is as sick as a dog.  Fever, chills, the works...  Yes son, Mommy's down for the count.  We - being me and you - we've done all we could for the patient, Boy.  Made her tea, got her Tylenol, a cup of soup... Now she's just gonna have to sleep it off.  Looks a lot like the bug I had that kept me down for 24 hours back in February.  And getting sick is bad enough, but without a doubt you're her favorite thing in the World, Son.  So not being able to hold you and kiss you and love on you is exponentially worse than any cold...

So here I sit, ready to feed you a bottle and call it a night.  Other than having to pull duties for Mommy, there's not a lot to report, Boy'O.  It was a cool and rainy Wednesday that was hardly as eventful yesterday's action!  So with that it's time to get you a few ounces of food to help you stay asleep 'til the morning, and I'm off to the rack myself.

I love you, Son.
-Dad

History in the Making

Day 126:

Today was an historical day, Conor.  Today we would see the final flight of the Space Shuttle Discovery; though not of its own power.  The mighty Discovery was piggy-backed from Cape Canaveral, Florida on the back of a Boeing 747 - call sign "Goliath".  Accompanying the duo across the sky was a Northrop Super-Sonic T-38 Talon; call sign, "Pluto" (fitting in comparison to the gigantic 747 - and I don't care what your school books tell you, Boy'O.  Pluto is a planet!)  Together they were quite the site, Son.  

My colleagues and I scurried around the outside of my office building in Tysons Corner looking for the best angle to witness the retirement of this truest of legends.  The historic flight taking off from Florida at roughly 7:00am en-route to Dulles Airport's Smithsonian Air and Space Museum.  Once there it would take the place of the model shuttle, "Enterprise" that's been on display for years now.   Unlike the Enterprise, which has never taken flight let alone endured space travel, the Discovery, by its last mission, had flown 149 million miles (238 million km) in 39 missions, completed 5,830 orbits, and spent 365 days in orbit in over 27 years.  Like I said - legendary!

Aside from a sweet smile from you, Son, seeing the shuttle made the day.  It's one of those things that's so unique, and so interesting and all I wanted to do was tell you about it!  Of course I did, but you're perhaps a smidgeon to young to know what the heck I'm talking about - hence this blog.  Documenting the days of your first year, Son.  And so far, well, I suppose there's been much to say.

If you ever came home and told me you wanted to be an astronaut, Son, I would support that 100%... After all, flying is in your blood.  Twice over.

I love you, Conor.

-Dad

The Lion Heart is a Ray of Sunshine

Day 125:

Today was the hottest day on record for this date in the DC area, Boy'O.  Absolutely smoking' for a day in mid April!  Per the fates I was summoned for jury duty, but when my number wasn't called I went about getting a few things done seeing as how I was already off from work.  One of those things would be to continue to get this house ready for sale, and that includes power washing...

To some degree I actually enjoy this kind of work.  It's focussed yet mindless, laborious yet not all that taxing, and when the job is done I'm immediately gratified by the new, clean look of the surface I just blasted the hell out of...  Though with the Sun baring down on me and sweat filling up my eyes, coupled with the spray of water and dirt in the air, I got over it pretty quickly.  There was a side of me that felt a tinge of guilt in that I was home and you were at daycare... Then again, there'd be no way for me to get done all that needed doing were you here for me to be concerned with.  I suppose that's what I have to tell myself anyhow...

In other news, the repairs to the Tahoe are predictably a disaster.  Dealing with insurance companies, despite the fact I haven't so much as scratched another car nor had a traffic violation of any kind in almost 20 years means NOTHING when these people want their money, Conor.  Cut throats and thieves, the lot of 'em...  I'll address it soon enough though.  Seems I got the bug again.  After almost 7 years of driving the Tahoe (the longest I've ever driven a car / truck), I think it's time we upgrade to a new vehicle.  Only now I'm thinking we're going with an actual truck as opposed to an SUV.  I can get a lot more utility out of a truck and frankly, Mommy's car is a quasi-SUV.  So I've narrowed my choices down to a single truck; the Dodge Ram 1500 "Longhorn" Edition.  Four door crew cab, 4x4, 390 horsepower HEMI, great gas milage (considering the vehicle) and a whole lot-a beef.  To suggest you're anything but safe in this vehicle would be understated.  It's a four wheel drive tank with leather seats, and boys love trucks...  So that's become my plan...

It's time to give you a bit more to eat in the hopes of your making it through the night, Boy'O.  And so I'm off to make you a bottle... Last night marked another record night for the Lion Heart...  8 hours of sleep. STRAIGHT!  It's the little things, Son.  That's what I always say anyhow...

I love you, Boy.
-Dad

Sometimes the Seas get Rough, Son

Day 124:

The day didn't start out all bad, Boy'O.  A little breakfast with you and Mommy, cup of coffee, read the news.  Not so bad, right?  Then off I go to borrow Uncle Paul's Power Washer while Mommy took you out to run some errands...  No sooner had I gotten to Jennifer and Paul's house, upon backing my truck down their driveway I misjudged an opening and didn't quite see the full steel gate support that I turned directly into.  Absolutely crushed the front right quarter panel of my Tahoe, Son.  Seven years and 130,000 miles I've put on that truck, and nary a scratch.  Today - CRUNCH!!!  That will dampen your day in a hurry, Conor.

Young Nathan didn't give me much of a chance to bemoan my Tahoe circumstance though... He came out smile a'blazing!  Something about a kid's smile can wash it all away, Son - for at least a moment anyway.  See the above picture... Call it "Exibit A"

After playing with Nate for a time, pulling the power washer and its components together, yanking a couple of pieces of otherwise useless plastic off the Tahoe, and firing up to head back home my mind came back to the pain-in-the-rear dealing with getting a car to an auto-shop, getting a rental, etc.  Ugh... Total drag.

When I got home though, the house was empty and I was ready to get to work and forget about thhe problems of the day... Nothing a little hard outdoor work can't solve, right?  Well, after going 12 rounds with the Power-Washer trying to get it to respond, I finally got the thing running right... After an HOUR! Sweating, frustrated, aggravated, and FINALLY! the machine started working!  After finishing that work I was ready for just about anything... About that time I heard Mommy making plans with Aunt Jennifer regarding visiting a winery with you and your little 'Cousins' and so off I went to shower...

A glass of wine would do just fine, thank you!  Only drinking wine with infants and toddlers isn't exactly 'relaxing'.  And look, I am NOT complaining!  I loved hanging out with you and your buddies, Conor!  But it's just 'different', I guess you could say.  Anyhow, you were wide awake and fussy through the majority of the ordeal, though even when you're fussing you're adorable, Son!   And now here I sit.  You're in bed, Mommy's in bed, and I'm exhausted...   Thinking I need to dumb it down a little with some TV.

And so, off I go.  I love you, Son!  Thanks for your smile on my tough day.  Means the World, Boy'O...
-Dad

The Lion Heart is Four Months Old

Day 123:

Wow Conor... Has it already been four months?  I've always accepted the mantra, "time flies", but this is ridiculous.  And then again, for so many reasons it's not...  Truly remarkable to me that you're advancing as you are... And it's the little things I notice.  Not only the smiles but how long you smile.  The expressiveness of your face, your honing in on certain people and things, how your attitude so quickly changes from open moment to the next simply based on the circumstance.  To be sure that's the case for everybody, but when you see it in a four month old it tells a story...

Today was an absolutely perfect day weather wise.  You and me, well Son, we had a fun day.  This morning I loaded you up into your stroller and walked to the grocery for bagels while Mommy took advantage and knocked out a couple of chores... When we got she was all geared up and ready to head out and run some weekend errands, so we decided to take further advantage of the weather and hang out outside while I both worked on and washed my motorcycle.  Music blaring, sun shining, and there you are... My Son, smiling and coo'ing, then sleeping and snoozing.

When you finally woke up it was time for a bottle so I hurried you upstairs to get the bottle started and get your diaper changed.  As if I should have seen it coming but just ignored it all together, I made the biggest baby-changing no-no, ever.  I unhinged that diaper of yours, looked down to grab another, and when I looked back up you were full on spraying the room!  I fumbled for the new diaper but to no avail... You'd already soaked the wall, yourself, me, the floor... Just a pee-tastrophy!  Of course, I could only stop laughing long enough to notice the huge smile on your face... So I got to cleaning up the mess while running a bath for you... Just the dues to pay I suppose.

When Mommy finally got home I was running out the door to hop on my bike and take a ride with Uncle Nelson out to a fund raiser we were hosting for "Wounded Warriors" and a September 11th Memorial foundation.  Some time later Mommy showed up after running errands with you to show you off to all my friends... No surprise here, you were a hit!  Though after an hour or so I think the noise of 50 Harleys finally got to you and you made it known that it was time to go home...

In all it was a great Saturday, Son...  And now you're resting soundly awaiting another big day tomorrow...

I love you, Boy'O.
-Dad

Conor the Cut Up

Day 122:

Well didn't THIS day just start out with a big old bang, Conor?!  Your Mother took this picture early this morning whilst I was caring for your dogs and getting your gear together for another day at daycare, then sent the picture to me after I'd already made my way to work.  It was a nice little surprise email to be sure, and certainly something to make me smile also.

Yes Boy'O, you went to daycare today as quiet as a church mouse - nary a fuss.  And when I dropped you off, you slept still.  Not so when Mommy got you in the late afternoon though.  You were wide awake and ready to roll!  By the time I'd returned home it was time for a bottle and then a bit of guitar time.  You seem to love the sound of an acoustic guitar so much, Son.  While sitting in your chair and I'm strumming along, you seem so happy and content... Not a care in the world.  And what's interesting about that is, that's exactly what playing the guitar does for me...

After a bit of R&R a rare opportunity presented itself... Dinner with Uncle Justin and Aunt Marti!  And with the news of their baby being a girl, of course Mommy couldn't wait to spoil her rotten and dress her head to toe in pink!  And thats' exactly what she did...  So we met them at our favorite dive Mexican Restaurant, Picante's! in Sully Plaza.  A margarita or two on top of a long day of following your every joyous move has out me in a place I'm completely unfamiliar with on a Friday night, Son.  Bed by 11:00pm?  yeah, not exactly my style but I can hardly keep my eyes open, Bubba...  So it's off to bed I go.

I love you, Boy'O!
-Dad

A Smiling Baby Boy

Day 121:

It's been nearly four months since you've joined us, Conor... Four amazing months.  In that time I've learned far more about the meaning of life than I ever even hoped to know, I've become a stronger man with a longer term vision, and I've learned more about the gentle nature of a baby than I ever knew existed.  Everyday you amaze me, Son.  Each and every day.

Today's big feat was simply a long continuous smile.  Noises I've never heard, smiling ear to ear, and just loving the playful and goofy songs I was singing to you...  I've found you love to be sung to, you love to dance around, you love the Baby Bjorn (Mommy had you in that crazy sling today), and you love to hang on to my index fingers... Not my middle finger.  Not my ring finger.  Not my thumb.  Only my index finger

It's such fun to see you grow.  I can only imagine what lies ahead for us, Son.  I thought today about the first time we go fishing.  I thought today about the first time we ride bikes together.  I thought today about you and that smile of yours that shines into my soul and lights me up brighter than the sun.

I love you, Boy'O.  The Lion Heart.  The life I breathe.  You're an awesome kid.

-Dad

A Little "Man to Man" Time

Day 120:

Busy day for Mommy today, Boy'O.  From the jump she was off and running for a number of projects she's needed to manage for her company, TeamCatapult.  The day would have Mommy in meetings from 8:30am to 8:30pm, so it was up to me, your dear old Dad, to get you to daycare, pick you up from daycare, get you fed, changed, etc.  To be sure these are not extraneous activities and certainly not more than I can bare.  And actually, I rather enjoy those times because they present a series of small challenges that I like to test myself through.  Like everything else for me, the only way to learn and understand things  is to do them.  Watching somebody else perform a task, listening to another talk about how to perform a task, or (Heaven forbid) reading about (I can't stand instruction manuals, Boy'O) how a task should be completed is not my cup of tea.  I'm a hands-on kinda guy, Conor.  So given the chance to spend time working through a routine without any help all the while keeping you happy and safe, I truly enjoyed it.  And if I do say so myself, I came through it with flying colors!

Okay okay so, it wasn't as though I was saving a life with bubble gum, a drinking straw, a paper clip, and a pen cap, but trying to find a rhythm with an infant in tow is simply an experience I felt I needed to have.  Of all of what I was able to get into with you, Son, it was because of the use of the Baby Bjorn.  I'd not strapped that crazy contraption to myself before and you're only just now big enough to sit comfortably in it, so it became an experiment worthy of my time with you... I gotta say, there's a reason why it's such a big seller... That thing is so great!  You were so happy being strapped to my chest, and I was all to pleased to be cruising around the house with you just kinda hanging out.  Made it work for about 45 minutes before you finally started to fuss... It was a milestone!

By the time Mommy'd returned home I had you all set up with a bottle and an expectation that the next stop for you was bed.  And as sure as I could be, Mommy came in the door at 9:00pm, loved on you for a few minutes, and then took you up to bed for the night...  And it's good you get your rest, Boy'O.  It's gotta be hard work being the best looking dude in the DayCare!

Love you, Son.
-Dad

A Sleepy Boy

Day 119:

Well Boy'O, it seems school is taking it out of you... You've been nothing but sleep since you got home tonight.  Though you did spend a good bit of time strapped to Mommy in the Baby Bjorn, enjoying the sights of cleaning chores masked with the sounds some of my favorite music.  Something fun though... Your new swing came today!  Of course, the swig is complete with a Lion!  As if it would be anything else but a lion for the Lion Heart.

In other news, your Uncle Justin came by for a minute.  You know, to have a drink and talk about the far that he and Aunt Marti are EXPECTING A GIRL!  So exciting for your Unc J, Beau!  And I'm not one for arranged marriages, but I gotta say, I see potential in this one...  Aunt Marti has always been very pretty!  And for that matter, your Uncle Justin, too.  But don't tell him I said that.  He may be inclined to deck me...  HA!

Short post tonight, Son.  I got some things need doin'...

Love you, Son.
-Dad

The Lion Heart's 1st Great Adventure

Day 118:

Today was yet another "first", Conor.  Today was your first day of school, Son.  Without a doubt, this is another one of those "it's harder on the parents" moments, and to be sure, it sucked.  Where as I believe Ms Zeny is a wonderful woman, a child care provider who came highly recommended, dropping you off with someone we hardly know is as painful a thing as there is.  Every single dreadful doubt goes flying through your head, Son.  It goes without saying, a parent can never love anything more than they can their own child, and so the protective instinct becomes acutely fierce and heightened beyond imagination. I'm a naturally concerned person, anyhow.  Always "protecting", for lack of a better word.  So when I handed you over to sweet Ms Zeny I started firing questions at the woman like the Spanish Inquisition.

As suspected, and as I'd been told, and as in my heart of hearts I knew, your first day at day care was just fine.  The plan is, I drop you off, Mommy picks you up, and we report to one another the experience of the event.  When Mommy showed up to take you home, as I thought you might, you lit up like a lottery winner.  Like it was the best moment of your life!  And for all we know, it may have been...  None the less, there you were; happy, healthy, and with a smidgeon more experience than when you started the day.  As is with all things in life, Son.

By the time you'd gotten home, you were out cold as is your modus operand when traveling in a moving vehicle.  And then, everything was as it'd always been.   Life as we know it returned... Changing diapers, feeding bottles, giving baths... And tomorrow we start it all over again...

I love you, Son.  And I'm proud of the steps you're taking.  Every single one of 'em.

-Dad

A Happy Easter

Day 117:

While it's true your extended family may live all over the country- places like Arkansas, South Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and Delaware- of the family we have right here in the state of Virginia we couldn't ask for a more loving and fun crew, Conor.  Your Great-Aunt Helene, Great Cousins Alicia and Patsy, their significant others Paul and Graham, and of course all your Cousins - Rebecca, Tess, Natasha, Brianna, Liam, and my Godson Devin... There is more than enough love to go around, Boy'O... So much so in fact, we were all passing around babies like most people pass dishes at Easter dinner!  One after the other, everybody held a different kid today!  Such fun, Son.  From Easter egg hunts to lessons in becoming a restauranteur - as instructed by your 4 year old twins Tashy and Bree, it was quite the afternoon.

Your Great-Aunt Helen prepared a feast!  More food than any of us could possibly eat, but darned if we wouldn't try!  And with all the kids dressed in their Easter Sunday best... Well, let's just say between stuffing our faces with so many goodies, loving on all the little guys, and playing a million and one games outside, everyone is significantly worn out, Boy'O.  And here's where reality sets in, Conor.

Tomorrow the Lion Heart starts Day Care.  Now, I realize millions of parents take their kids to child care facilities of all kinds all over the country and all over the world.  And I know in my heart it's all going to be alright... But none of that makes it any easier.  Turns out that for every ten "firsts" you can fall in love with being a parent, there's an eleventh; In this case, the reality of being a working parent and relying upon paid help to take care of you.  Gonna be a rough morning, Boy'O.  But I'll only be right up the road from you, Son.  And can be there in a flash if you need me.  I promise.

I love you, Boy'O.
-Dad

A Quiet Saturday

Day 116:

It was a pretty light and easy Saturday, Conor.  And actually, I was so fortunate to be able to spend some real quality time with you, Boy'O... Like, just me and you!  Early this morning Mommy got up to head to the car dealership to deal with a tire problem.  MeMeow was feeding you but you didn't seem to want to take the bottle so after a few bounces, a burp, and a small crying fit I found you to be hungry again.  Spending time with you, whether it be feeding you or otherwise, is as good as it gets, Son.  All the small expressions, each cocked eyebrow, furrowed brow, and lip pout is all starting to mean something and of course, the longer I sit with you the more I understand...

After getting you fed this morning it was time for a change of both diaper and clothes.  After getting you all sorted out we started collecting ourselves for lunch out with Aunt Jennifer, Uncle Paul, Nathan, and Andrew.  The timing was such that when your Mother returned home we were all but ready to roll again, and so off we went to the Mad Fox.  Lunch was nice... Good conversation, old memories, new plans.  Plans with you and the Landers boys.  Plans with MeMeow and Grandpa K9.  Just good conversation.

Lunch was short lived, though with an 18 month old (Nathan) who needs a nap to keep his energy up, that was to be expected.  So back to the house we went.  Upon returning home and with nothing else on the radar, everybody decided to take a nap!  Everybody except me and you.  Yep, instead we sat on the couch watching the Nationals vs. the Cubs.  Our first baseball game!  Kinda monumental considering baseball was the sport I grew up playing... Anyhow, during that time I could hardly watch the game.  For you were the most awake of any of us!  Once again kicking and coo'ing and chirping those little boy noises.  We must have played for an hour before we were both just through... I picked you up, laid you on my chest, and off to sleep we went, Son.  The Lion Heart loves nothing more than the sound of a heartbeat as he snoozes away the afternoon.  And who am I to deny you that?

All in all the day was spent loving on you, Son.  Me, Mommy, MeMeow, Grandpa K9, Uncle Paul and Aunt Jennifer... Even Nathan got in for a little snuggle action with you!  You're so loved, Son.  And to be sure, you can never get to much love.

Speaking of, I suppose this is a good time to tell you I love you.  And I can't tell you enough.
G'Night, Boy'O...

-Dad

A Day with Friends

 

Day 115:

Ah Friday, Boy'O.  The end of the work week, the beginning of the weekend, and on this Friday, a time to hang out with a bunch of bikers!  That's right, Son.  My MC, the Chapter 40 Boozefighters, came to the house tonight for two reasons... To meet you face to face, and to have a meeting in planning for upcoming rides, parties, and events.

Typically we get together on the 1st Friday of every month and in those gatherings we determine what the next several weeks and months will hold.  But on this occasion, the guys were here to meet the Lion Heart.  Only one problem - you were cantankerous Conor tonight.  Seems you were intent on doing nothing but fussing and eating, eating and fussing... All night!  Alas, the guys didn't get to spend as much time with you as they might have liked, but they were happy to have met you none the less...

As well, your Grandpa K9 came back to town and was so pleased with your growth, Boy'O!  You've done so well on the growth curve and today at the Pediatrician's office you weighed in at a whopping 10 pounds, 9 ounces and 19.6 inches!  Just barely in the growth chart, but gaining speed, Son.

That's all for tonight.  But tomorrow is a new adventure and, like today and the day before - I can't wait!

I love you, Son.
-Dad  

Wide Awake

Day 114:

As it turned out, Conor, your Great Aunt Mag decided to stick it out one more day!  Once again it was the tag team of MeMeow and Great Aunt Mag to take care of you for the day, Son.  And the report was, you'd no interest in getting any kind of sleep today!  Turns out you were awake the better part of the day and right up and to bringing you to your first bath in 5 days (had to be careful about bathing you because of the incision), you were bouncing, smiling, coo'ing...  Any day now you're gonna bust out laughing, I just know it.

It was a beautiful day today, Conor, so when I got home I decided we needed to go for a good long walk.  And walk we did!  Me and you, Boy'O... And as we strolled you were wide eyed and inquisitive.  Your eyes were darting back and forth and all around to check out trees, power lines, birds, you name it!  By the time we got home, I'd say after about a 30 minute walk, out you went - for about 5 minutes!  No sooner did you close your eyes, they were open again.  Something you MeMeow calls FOMS; or Fear of Missing Something.

The house is quiet now.  Mommy's bathing you, the Smith Sisters are helping with the dishes and prepping your bottles, and here I sit, red wine in hand, Bob Dylan on the radio, just punching away on this keyboard.  Words you won't read for 20 years, but I don't care.  Life isn't about the big things, it's surely about the little things, Conor.  And in the end it's the little things that all add up to what was your life.  And for me, I could write to you every day...  That'd be a good life, indeed.

All my love, Son.  Always...
-Dad

The Lion Heart meets the Easter Bunny

Day 113:

It's the last day your Great Aunt Mag will be here with you, Boy'O, and to be sure there's a bit of a melancholy mood in the house.  You've so enjoyed spending time with your Great Aunt Mag and MeMeow, and I think it's funny how they bicker over who gets to hold you, feed you, play with you.  One thing's for certain, Son, you've not wanted for attention a single moment since MeMeow and your Great Aunt Mag have been keeping a watchful eye.  But it's not a bad thing to be spoiled by love...

You're doing quite well considering your operation only a few days ago, and I don't believe the wound is  really affecting you at all.  Day by day you seem to get a bit "happier" and certainly more goofy.  Those big doe eyes of yours get more and more expressive, and these days you're coo'ing and "talking" so much, it's just remarkable.  I'm waiting for that first big belly laugh!  I think I'll melt when I hear it.  I know I will, actually...

Mommy worked from home early in the day today giving way to a lighter workload in the afternoon... This afforded her the chance to get out to the mall with your MeMeow and Great Aunt Mag for lunch and a visit to the Easter Bunny!  Turns out Mommy was set on getting your picture taken with this gigantic bunny, and MeMeow offered to pay for the pictures, and so what you see here is what transpired there.  Of course I think it's cute; why wouldn't I?  But it's also funny in that you're such a peanut in this giant rodent's lap that when I saw the picture I burst out laughing!  You're to much, Boy'O.  And day by day you get to be even more.

I love you, Son.
-Dad

No Stopping the Lion Heart

Day 112:

The surgery was a success Conor!  In my post yesterday I'd mentioned you'd come through the procedure just fine and were in recovery.  Well, between getting you together, travel time to the hospital, the procedure itself, recovery time, and finally travel time home, the entire ordeal turned out to be about 30 hours.  The majority of that time was spent monitoring you for any post-op complications, allergens to the anesthetic, sleep apnea, etc.  Needless to say, it wasn't a restful time for either Mommy or me because we were both watching you like a hawk; to hell with those machines!

The Children's Hospital Center of Washington DC is amongst the best in Pediatric Surgical Services.  In conversation with several of the nurses and attendings, turns out Children's Hospital will do on the order of sixty to seventy surgeries per day!  Yesterday turned out to be a light day in that you were one of forty.  Not only that, but because you were the youngest patient of the day they slotted you first.  That's right, Boy'O, you were the very first surgery of the day...  This I thought was great!  You wouldn't have to wait longer than needed, you'd be in recovery sooner which of course meant you could eat sooner (no food or drink six hours prior to the procedure equals one very fussy Conor!), and your Surgeon and Med / Surg team would be as sharp as they'd be all day!  Though despite all of that, there was a hitch in your pole position on the surgical board, Son.  The hitch was, your recovery room was "Room 1", directly in front of the nurses station and in the heart of everything!

Of course, Children's Hospital Center is a hospital for, you guessed it, CHILDREN!  Children who, following their own surgeries, were in pain, confused, nauseous, upset, scared, you name it...   And to sit in that recovery room where all around us were the buzzing sounds of nurse chatter, beeping machines, radio calls, and worst of all the hysterical and unconsolable cries of young children, was no fun... Needless to say, it was absolutely heartbreaking...  Though to your credit, and in typical Conor fashion, nary a fuss.  In fact, the only time you seemed to open your mouth in protest was to simply let us know it was time for you to eat!  Also not surprising, you once again became the Don Juan of the Ward.  Every nurse, and even some patient's parents wanted to come by and see this beautiful, smiling baby boy they'd heard so much about.  You were a hit!  And in fact, your charge nurse yesterday went home at 7:00pm only to return at 7:00am today for another 12 hour shift.  Only she arrived at 6:30am because she said she wanted to come in and see you again before we were discharged at 7:00am!  

Conor the Lion Heart - Winner of Hearts and Minds

Around 6:30pm yesterday evening they finally moved us into a much larger, much more private room.  Multiple televisions, two fold out chair / beds (horribly uncomfortable pieces of crap, but I'm not complaining!), and a quieter space for you to rest and recover.  Though to be sure you didn't seem bothered by the noise as is usually the case with you.  I think in two days I slept a total of 4 hours.  Both in anticipation of my Son going under the knife - especially at such a young age, and the total lack of comfort in staying in those chairs.  Though here I sit, pleased with the outcome of the day's events, sipping a Jameson's whiskey, all but ready to retire.

I'm proud of you, Son.  You're stronger than I give you credit for and you have, once again, taught me so much in such a short period of time.  Incomprehensible, truly.

Rest up, tough guy.  I love you.

-Dad

A Tough Day for the Lion Heart

Conor Pre-Op                                                                                    Conor Post-Op

Day 111:

An early day for you today, Conor.  Mommy was up and running at 3:15am to give you your last bottle before the operation, and as soon as she was done feeding you it was my turn to get up and tend to your dogs, start loading the car, and fill up every possible travel container we own with fresh, hot coffee...  What's funny is, when I finally got to you at around 4:30am, you were wide awake and raring to go!

We were rolling at 4:45am and determined to get to Children's Hospital in DC early.   Sue enough, when we finally pulled into the parking garage -empty.  Place was like a ghost town!  But by the time they took you back, this place was buzzing!  Little boys and little girls from all over are here for special surgeries which can only be performed in med / surg facilities like this one, and you were the day's first patient!

The Anesthesiologist, nurses, surgeon, and surgical students all came by to see you and answer any questions.  When it was eventually time for you to go it was so very hard for Mommy... For me, it was truly difficult  to see you being carried away by the Anesthesiologist, but for Mommy the Doctor had to all but pry you from her arms.

You know Conor, Samuel Taylor Coleridge once said, "For mother's sake the child was dear, and dearer was the mother for the child."

I can honesty say that of the few things I unequivocally "know" in this life, it's that a mother's connection to her child is both incomprehensible to any man and unbreakable by any person.  And no scientist, nor Shaman, nor cosmic event could ever explain otherwise.  To watch that Doctor pull you from Mommy's arms was as heartbreaking a thing as I've ever seen.  And again, I don't mean to be dramatic.  I realize there are Mothers who endure far worse and go to far greater lengths for their Children.  To be sure, we're very blessed.  Especially given everything our little Lion Hearted boy has come through to date; despite your early arrival your troubles are few... But everything in life deals in its own set of circumstances, and knowing there was even a micro fraction of a chance you don't survive the operation, your Mother- if only for a moment- came to pieces.  And then, as a only a Mother could, she rallied for strength on your behalf and waited patiently for your Surgeon to give us the outcome.

When the surgeon finally came to us in the waiting room, the report was excellent!  She simply closed up the hernia with a small incision just below the abdomen and while they were in there ran a camera over   to the other side just to be sure you didn't have a matching one on the opposite hip.  All clear!  you came through smelling like a rose, Boy'O.  Not that we expected anything less...

I'm proud of you, Son.  You performed exactly as I expected you would.  Like the Lion Heart you are.  And now it's a matter of monitoring and healing while you once again rest comfortably in your Mother's arms.

I love you, Conor.

-Dad 

An Anticipated Sunday

Day 110:

As I sit here listening to the bluesy rock sounds of Jimi Hendrix, I'm fighting through a spot of the blues myself, Conor.  Knowing this day has been coming since not long after we left the NICU, I've not been willing to so much as think about this day for fear of how it'll make me feel.  For tomorrow morning you'll be undergoing a surgery to correct an Inguinal Hernia.  And you know Boy'O, modern medicine affords us much.  In fact, without modern medicine your very existence would have been in jeopardy!  Certainly I'm thankful for all that's given to us as we move forward in the age of Aquarius; the age of science.  And for all we've heard about how common this procedure is and how little concern we should give to the outcome, none of it matters.

Tomorrow we're going to be trusting your life to the hands of people we don't know in a hospital we've never visited.  I've no doubt the fine folks at Children's Hospital in Washington DC, one of the very best Pediatric Hospitals in the World, will do a superb job.  None at all.  But the thought of not being there to hold your hand while they anesthetize you, or what the procedure entails in so far as the incision, the operation itself, and putting it all back together... The thought of having to make even the tiniest cut into your otherwise perfect little body... Well frankly, it's eating me up.

Like any parent, you just don't realize what having a child actually means until that child is resting safely in your arms.  You also don't realize how absolutely selfless you can be with regard to wanting everything for your child no matter the cost, right up and through your child ever experiencing an inkling of pain.  And this is not machismo, Boy'O, but I promise you, if your hernia could be corrected by my having to endure the same surgery without a gram of pain medication, I'd do it.  And I'd never give it a second thought...

I don't mean to be so dramatic, Son.  I've now spoken with about a half dozen parents who've had a child endure the very same and they all say the same thing, "it's harder on you than it will be on him." and "it's quite common, Conor's going to be fine!" and while I appreciate the words of encouragement, there is just nothing that will ever take away my feeling of "dammit..................."
And I've not even mentioned your Mother - she worries twice as much as I do...

I have all the faith in the World you're going to be just fine, Conor.  I really truly do.  But my faith can't take away my angst.  My faith can't take away my feeling of needing to be there to hold you and be sure you're okay.  My faith can't heal you.  Though I do know, Conor the Lion Heart can take it.  And by late tomorrow morning I'll be looking upon your bright blue eyes, problem solved, healing begun, and I'll breathe again. Mommy too.

God bless you, Conor.  I love you Boy'O, and I'll be right there for you, I promise.
-Dad