Revelations

Day 356:

Today will be another one of those 'lesson' posts, Conor.  Given my day, and what this day has meant to someone very special for the last seven years, I'm reminded of what's important, and quite frankly, what is not.

Speaking to my mother, your Mom-Mom, earlier tonight she reminded me today's the anniversary of the death of our dear friend, Jack Killian.  Seven years ago today, suddenly, and unexpectedly, our friend, Mom-Mom's dearest, suffered a stroke and sadly, passed on.  A stark reminder indeed...

Life is fleeting, Conor.  Remarkably it's already been close to one year since you were born.  "Blink and you'll miss it", as they say.  Often times we forget all the blessings we have as we take those for granted because they're simply here every single day.  Instead we focus on the trials and tribulations, hardships and challenges, and the things we quite simply cannot control.  We tend to dwell in the "what if's" and the "why's".  We don't recount what should simply be a cherished moment.  Instead we talk about the bad traffic or the broken down automobile.  Trouble with a loved one or knowing you're on the receiving end of a lie.  These things are so very trivial, Conor.  They're pointless and they carry no weight and so we have to remind ourselves to drop them and move on.

In my profession, Son, I'm lied to often.  Sales is a game of tells pure and simple.  It's about what you show and what you don't.  It's holding out for the better deal and, more often than not, it's the prospective buyer who would feed you a spoon full of untruth, just to get that deal.  It's a surrender of one's integrity.  As a result of my being in this position for twelve years, and considering the greatest strength I have now and have always ever had, is my ability to read people and situations.  Call it intuition, what have you, but I know all the tells, Son.  Today while working with somebody whom I've been working with for some time, I felt that familiar tell and I was disappointed if not even a bit angry.

On my way home I thought more and more about it and I was resonant to simply let it go, but still it just stuck in my craw...  Then I called Mom-Mom.  She reminded me of what this day means to her and I felt her pain.  She was sorrowful for missing her friend, Jack, and it showed through in the form of tears.  Tears for which I could only hear her cry through the phone and I was helpless to stop them.  Though assuredly, given the chance I would have done my best... Never the less, my momentary angst from the day left me.  Because it should have never been there in the first place...  It was a revelation, Son.  Not one that I was learning for the first time, but one that would 'reveal' to me the silliness of my worries.  If a person lies to you, Son, it means you weren't worth the truth.  And though that's a tough pill to swallow, it also means they're not worthy of you, either.  And so I was reminded to count my blessings and love what I have, control what I can control...

When I came in the door Mommy was feeding you and you were smiling.  Smiling to see me, smiling to be fed, smiling because you're loved.  There was a moment when I was simply elated.  Work didn't matter, half truths and untruths didn't matter, traffic didn't matter.  What mattered was that I was home, Son.  And I was thankful for it...

I love you, Conor.  You'll never really know how much, or at least not until you're a proud parent yourself.  And when that time comes I hope that you can recall these words, Boy'O.  I hope that you remember that the things that annoy, sting, and even hurt aren't important in the least.  Rather, it's taking account for what you have, and loving only who would love you back.  The difference between having everything and knowing you have everything, is quite simply the knowing, Son...

I love you always, Conor.
-Dad