Times Like These

Day 196:

It's been a tumultuous Summer thus far, Conor.  We've seen record setting temperatures (with more to come) in the East, blazing and uncontainable wild fires in the West, torrential and deadly rain storms in the South, and on top of it all, heartache.  Heartache with the news of our friend Ziggy.  Heartache in remembering our lost friend, Gretchen.  Heartache in learning of ailing loved ones.  Heartache.........

Either I'm not recalling a Summer so sour-fully eventful in my 39 years, or this one is just a bit different thus far.  Either way, the Summer is early yet, July is only a few days away, and great adventures lie ahead, Boy'O. And for me, no matter how dour the news as it pertains to wacky weather patterns or unexpected and unwanted surprises, there's you.  Always you.

I was in need of some time with the Lion Heart this evening, Son.  I picked you up from daycare because Mommy was feeling unwell and already home to rest, and when we got home you were, predictably, hungry.  As it's all but customary for your Mother to feed you in the morning and the evening,  I insisted tonight.  And it's in this rare moment when I'm reminded what's important, Conor.  While sitting there in the quiet nursery, bottle in hand and you across my arm while pressed firmly against my chest, I felt a calming peace.  My otherwise racing mind slowed to a crawl and I could only look on you, those chubby fingers grasping desperately at your bottle, your blue eyes batting and crossing while trying to gain focus, and I smiled...

When you'd finished the bottle we sat enjoying a moment together, Son.  It was quiet, peaceful, and innocent.  Pure innocence...  I started to gaze off for a moment thinking about who knows what, when you broke the silence with a shrill squeak...  When I looked down there you were, grinning ear to ear.  If I'd never known happiness before that moment, or that's to say not remembered what it was like to be that blissfully happy, there you were, showing me the way.

The lessons I take away from you every day are all things that I've of course always known, but they get lost in the day to day, Son.  They get swallowed up by traffic, by bad weather, by cars in untimely need of repair, by other people's ridiculous drama and discourse.  But then a smile from a 6 month old baby boy, MY 6 month old baby boy, and I'm reminded that bliss is attainable.  And all it took was a smile...

"It's times like these we learn to live again.  It's times like these we learn to love again." --Dave Grohl

Indeed.

I love you, Conor.  Thanks for showing me the way, Son.
-Dad